For some people, broadband speed is a sign of manliness. It is a show of how effective your business is running, where it could be running better, the weaknesses, as well as its strength. Just like the contestant who is voted off the island, broadband speed can make or break your agenda. Just like those extra five pounds of pork round the middle which is the soft landing spot for some, for others it’s just unbearable. So if you’ve got these insecurity issues and you feel like you need to maximize every moment, squeezing every last drop of life from the rind, there are broadband speed tests you can give to your broadband provider.

When I said there are “broadband tests” out there; there most certainly are. Like 33 million on a quick search engine hit. 33 million hits for sites that offer, explain, or deride the broadband tests. It is my hope that someone else sent you to do this dirty work because this seems almost elementary. Like, if you find in your own experience that a network isn’t cutting it, you sever the ties. Or so it would seem to make sense to me. This speed test is just another one of those bureaucratic, roiling around in circles nightmares where we continue to behave like we’re scientists when really, the proof is in the pudding! When something’s not working, don’t give it a second chance, and if it ain’t broke then don’t try to fix it!

But Americans behave as they will. They need to test things. Hypothesize. Figure in quantitative elements. Draw informed conclusions. So they will.

The broadband speed connection test allegedly does exactly what it promises. While many of these tests say they’re free they also come along with subscriptions or trial offers of full priced, very obtrusive things. So make sure before you sign the X that you’re not signing up for much more than you bargained for.

Broadband high speed internet access is available in most developed or developing countries; so I see no reason to want to test the area unless you’re a scientist or someone from one of these firms doing research! But just like YouTube and the blogs we’ve personalized these tests and feel that we need to underscore our existence with a reading on the broadband speed test. Get our little name there in the very middle of a huge and sprawling document that no one will ever touch; never again.